You know I'm horrible at talking about my feelings sober, so I thought I would put it down on paper instead. I've never been happier than I am when I'm with you. My entire life I've always been alone, and I always thought that was how it would always be, but now when I'm with you I find myself thinking about our lives together rather than just mine alone.
It still scares me. Every single time I've let someone get close to me it has ended badly. My mother, the Smiths, my brother. Those relationships from my childhood still haunt me, and while I know you aren't like them, I still find myself holding my breath sometimes, waiting for you to realize what everyone else found so unlovable about me. I don't want this thing between us to end. I've learned I can trust you, and for someone like me, that's a very big deal.
I love you, Leonard, and whatever happens between us, wherever this takes us, I want you to know that.
no subject
Leonard,
You know I'm horrible at talking about my feelings sober, so I thought I would put it down on paper instead. I've never been happier than I am when I'm with you. My entire life I've always been alone, and I always thought that was how it would always be, but now when I'm with you I find myself thinking about our lives together rather than just mine alone.
It still scares me. Every single time I've let someone get close to me it has ended badly. My mother, the Smiths, my brother. Those relationships from my childhood still haunt me, and while I know you aren't like them, I still find myself holding my breath sometimes, waiting for you to realize what everyone else found so unlovable about me. I don't want this thing between us to end. I've learned I can trust you, and for someone like me, that's a very big deal.
I love you, Leonard, and whatever happens between us, wherever this takes us, I want you to know that.
-Mara