Bad News (with no_dryer_box)

[cadet_amara]

Getting called to Admiral Pike's office reminded Amara of getting called to the principal's office in high school. She seemed to think it meant she did something wrong, but for the life of her she couldn't figure out what that was. Maybe she somehow forgot to turn in an assignment? She ran through the list in her mind, no... everything was turned in as far as she knew. Maybe he found out about the power surge she caused? But that was ages ago, and she'd figured out what she did wrong already. No, as far as she knew she was on top of everything, which made her even more anxious. She hated feeling like she was in trouble when she didn't know what she did wrong.

By the time she arrived she had played through every possible reprimand she could possibly be in for in her mind, but none of them really seemed to make sense. She was actually doing pretty well for once, and managing to stay out of trouble. Well, she thought, guess I'll just be surprised.

She cleared her throat a little, "Good afternoon, sir." She greeted, resisting the urge to ask what she did. She'd find out soon enough. 

Comments

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

Pike was sitting in his wheelchair across from the couch in his office, this was clearly more of a personal call than an official one. From the look on his face, it was not good news.

"Have a seat, Cadet."

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

Amara looked at him curiously. His expression was different. It didn't read you're in trouble but it was obviously not good, whatever he had to say. She sat on the couch, wondering why he wasn't behind his desk like usual.

"Sir?" She asked, getting a sinking feeling in her stomach. She wasn't even sure what question she should be asking, but she knew instinctively that something was going on.

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

He hated doing this more than anything, telling someone a loved one died. But it was another one of those things no one in command classes told you you have to do. He seemed to be getting a lot of those things lately.

"I received a communication from Starfleet this morning" He paused a moment, "Your brother, Karan, died this morning. He listed you as his only contact person. I'm sorry for your loss..."

Pike was not good at crying women. And checked to make sure he put the tissue box on the table in front of the couch, which he did.

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

The Cadet stared at him, surely she misheard. She suddenly felt cold, like someone was messing with the environmental controls. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and she furiously wiped them. She hadn't cried once since she was thirteen and she refused to cry now. She had warned him this would happen. She had tried and tried time again to convince him to get help. But still... she felt like she'd failed. She had failled.

Suddenly the thought hit her that she was sitting in the admiral's office and probably hadn't said anything for some time. It seemed like she should say something, but she had no idea what to say. She swallowed hard, finding her voice.

"He... ran away when I was five, sir... I... found him just this past year..." She had no idea why she said that, surely Admiral Pike didn't care about her family sob story. She felt her lower lip start to tremble and she bit it, angrily scolding herself. No, no, don't you dare cry! "Sorry sir."

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

*nods just listening, figuring she needs to cry or something* It's ok. You have nothing to be sorry about.

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

She stayed quiet for a minute, she was determined not to say anything else until she stopped crying. She then wiped her tears and raised her chin, determined to regain her composure. "It's not really a surprise... I warned him..." She sighed a little. "Add it to my list of failures." She realized that sounded bitter and hoped he chalked it up to grief or something and disregarded it. "Is that all sir?"

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

Pike is puzzled yet again, "How is it your fault? You were here."

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

"I tried to help him, and I failed. So he died, alone back on Earth, because I wasn't there." She wiped her eyes a little and took a tissue, very glad he had them next to the couch. He obviously anticipated this. It annoyed her a little that he knew she would turn into a sobbing mess, but still, at least he was prepared.

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

"People can't be helped unless they want to be." He tried his best to console her, because this really wasn't her fault. "You have to know that."

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

She smiled a little, despite it all. "That's sort of what I told him. I told him he was going to end up dead or something. It would have been nice to have some family left."

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

"Then it isn't your fault. Do not blame yourself for it."

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

She nodded, pulling herself together to play the part of the good little cadet. "Thank you sir." Amara still felt like her stomach was in knots, and she was doing her best not to continue crying. Tears were embarrassing. "I'm... probably already late for my training shift."

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

"You have the next few days off. Take the time"

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

"Just today is fine. I don't want to fall behind."

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

*he tried to be comforting again* I am truly sorry...I'm sure he was proud of you.

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

*small smile and uh oh... more tears* *wipes her eyes again* He took care of me before he ran off. Our mother certainly wasn't going to. I owed him a lot. I got in contact with him when I started at the Academy. He... kept getting into trouble. I almost got expelled twice trying to help him. The last time I saw him I told him I couldn't keep doing that. I can't help but feel responsible for what happened, as ridiculous as that is.

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

You're not...not at all. *he put his hand on her shoulder, mostly so she'd know she wasn't alone and because she looked like she needed a hug*

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

*that does make her feel a little better* Thank you. I suppose he didn't have a funeral or anything... I think I'll try to come up with something I can do. You know, closure or... whatever.

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

*nods* If you need anything...

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

I'll let you know if I do... thank you sir. *takes a deep breath to compose herself before she has to walk back to her quarters* Is that all?

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

*kinda quiet* That's all.

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

Thank you for... *pauses to figure out what to say* breaking it to me so kindly, sir.

[no-dryer-box.livejournal.com]

*nods* That offer stands...

[cadet-amara.livejournal.com]

*smiles and gives him a small "thank you" hug* Thank you sir. I do appreciate it.