Field Training Log Five
Dec. 7th, 2009 03:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cadet_amaraAmara wasn't as nervous submitting this particular log. It did have her usual overly personal touch of course, but if Admiral Pike hadn't sent her packing yet he probably wasn't going to. At least not over these logs. She entered his office right on time and set the PADD down on his desk, waiting to be acknowledged before speaking. She actually hated turning in assignments in person, and her stomach turned a little as she waited for him to read it. There was something unnerving about having your work judged right in front of you, and she had to say although Admiral Pike had always been fair, it still scared the hell out of her.
Lately I've been working the night shift. It's great. Absolutely fantastic. I know most people moan and groan about having to be up all night but really I think it's perfect for me. For one thing I don't sleep much. I've never gotten more than four hours if I'm lucky, and if you do that during the "day" people don't fuss as much. Also, no one really pays that much attention to what you're doing. I have time to work through things on my own without anymore breathing down my neck. I've gotten to take the helm lately. I love it. The night shift is officially my favorite thing ever. I even started sleeping a little better for a while, granted during the day but it's in space. It's dark all the time. Who's to say what's night or day besides the clock?
Then of course, the holidays rolled around and I've stopped sleeping almost all together. I hate this season. I go through this every year so there's really no point in complaining about it. The holidays have always been a time for families and I've never really had one. I know I said I'd let that go, but it's hard when it's thrown in your face for the entire month of December. It's also particularly hard on me because of the Smiths.. They adopted me in November, they said it was just in time... so I'd finally have a family for the holidays. But then a few weeks later, right before that Christmas thing there was a house fire. Mr. Smith died and Mrs. Smith was disabled so they decided to send me away, and my social worker sent me on to another placement. Again, I know I said I was letting it go, but it's just hard this time of year when it's on my mind so much. Bad memories. It also doesn't help that for some reason several foster families feel the need to send me "Seasons Greetings" messages. What the hell is up with that? Most of them didn't even keep me for more than a year and now you want to send me a Christmas message? All they're doing is annoying me, and bringing up all those nice feelings of rejection from when they dumped me. Enough already. Leave me alone.
I think I'm just going to spend a lot of time in my quarters until the whole thing is said and done with. I'm not into "holiday cheer" and I never go to parties or things like that unless I'm forced. It's just easier to ignore it and wait for January to roll around.
Lately I've been working the night shift. It's great. Absolutely fantastic. I know most people moan and groan about having to be up all night but really I think it's perfect for me. For one thing I don't sleep much. I've never gotten more than four hours if I'm lucky, and if you do that during the "day" people don't fuss as much. Also, no one really pays that much attention to what you're doing. I have time to work through things on my own without anymore breathing down my neck. I've gotten to take the helm lately. I love it. The night shift is officially my favorite thing ever. I even started sleeping a little better for a while, granted during the day but it's in space. It's dark all the time. Who's to say what's night or day besides the clock?
Then of course, the holidays rolled around and I've stopped sleeping almost all together. I hate this season. I go through this every year so there's really no point in complaining about it. The holidays have always been a time for families and I've never really had one. I know I said I'd let that go, but it's hard when it's thrown in your face for the entire month of December. It's also particularly hard on me because of the Smiths.. They adopted me in November, they said it was just in time... so I'd finally have a family for the holidays. But then a few weeks later, right before that Christmas thing there was a house fire. Mr. Smith died and Mrs. Smith was disabled so they decided to send me away, and my social worker sent me on to another placement. Again, I know I said I was letting it go, but it's just hard this time of year when it's on my mind so much. Bad memories. It also doesn't help that for some reason several foster families feel the need to send me "Seasons Greetings" messages. What the hell is up with that? Most of them didn't even keep me for more than a year and now you want to send me a Christmas message? All they're doing is annoying me, and bringing up all those nice feelings of rejection from when they dumped me. Enough already. Leave me alone.
I think I'm just going to spend a lot of time in my quarters until the whole thing is said and done with. I'm not into "holiday cheer" and I never go to parties or things like that unless I'm forced. It's just easier to ignore it and wait for January to roll around.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-15 04:06 pm (UTC)"I'm glad the night shift is working out for you." He said simply, "Though I do think you should start to look for the positives in things."
no subject
Date: 2009-12-15 10:58 pm (UTC)"How so, sir?" She asked, honestly wanting to know. "I mean... I think we can both admit I'm not a naturally cheerful person..."